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Trying to weigh the pros and cons of taking such a drastic action? The honest answer is yes – in certain situations – the no contact rule a wise choice. The reality is most of us are devastated when a split happens, leaving a giant pit of our stomachs that is painful and palatable.
But because we are guys, we tend not to talk about how we’re feeling, even though we desperately want to.
So, it’s like this – if you really want to move on (based on the criteria above), the no contact rule can be a very smart choice. You probably already know this but just in case you don’t, here’s what having no contact with an ex means: A lot of men want to know if there are any pluses to using the no contact rule. In fact, there are so many benefits that it is impossible to list them all on this page. One of the biggest benefits of using the no contact rule is the encouragement of the healing process.
And when you think about things, doesn’t this make sense?
One of the things that often goes by the wayside over the course of a relationship is self-care Here, I’m talking about things like diet, working out, grooming and so forth. Over time, this fortifies your resolve and ultimately, your sense of self. In truth, you probably can make some adjustments to your schedule or routine to keep the no contact rule in place.
When you know who you are and can intuitively identify the difference between healthy verses unhealthy partners, you become stronger. If your goal is to heal and move past the trauma of a breakup, the no contact rule needs to be in effect for a long time. There are going to be times when you bump into an ex in a totally unplanned way. Obviously, exceptions include working with an ex or a former lover living on the same floor as you.
That said, removing contact as an option does – in a matter of speaking – put you back on the market. Doing so helps shift that lens we talked about earlier. One of the benefits of being in a romantic relationship is emotional and physical validation. The reason we miss these signs is that we haven’t yet gained the wisdom – obtained through experience – for what to look for.
Try changing their name in your phone so you’re reminded *exactly* what you’re doing any time you pull up their contact.
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Are you thinking of employing the no contact rule after a breakup? Conventional wisdom holds that in the immediate aftermath of a split, the best way to get over a lover is to go radio silent. Moreover, does the decision to cut off contact encourage healing – particularly for men? A lot of people think guys have an easier time (emotionally) when it comes to breakups compared to women.
And so, the best thing about “no contact” is this: you get to find new, healthier sources of validation. When the relationship collapses, and you employ the no contact rule, you immediately free up extra time to do the things you’ve been neglecting. In turn, this allows you to gain insight; something you can use in the future to avoid attracting the same people.
In turn, this breaks a codependent cycle and boosts your self-confidence. When you are attached to someone, you are less likely to focus on your needs because: 1. The last benefit I’ll list about the no contact rule is super simple: it makes you stronger. By focusing on yourself (and not on your ex) you are making the conscious choice to heal. BUT NO CONTACT MEANS NO CONTACT This means no conversation, no “catching up” on recent events and no superficial talk about mundane sh-t like the weather. There are very few situations where contact with an ex is unavoidable.