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I was eager to find a wife, but I couldn’t have children that wouldn’t be Jewish. So, even though I wanted it and believed it could work, marriage was off the table so long as Alicia was still a gentile.
My parents liked Alicia, but not the fact that she wasn’t Jewish.
But as I fell in love with her, she fell in love with me—and with my Judaism as well.
Unlike me, she hadn’t dreamed of meeting someone Jewish and having a Jewish wedding.
My father spent his entire professional life working for Jewish Federations across the country.
As a child, I grew up in Conservative congregations in Georgia, New Jersey, and Minnesota, was educated in Jewish day schools from kindergarten through fifth grade, and spent most of my childhood summers at Jewish summer camps.
She had a great sense of humor, a wonderful smile, and an honesty that I found refreshing.
It felt wrong for me to pressure her, yet at the same time I knew that if she didn’t convert, the relationship would almost certainly have to end at some point.My paternal grandparents were more concerned; I promised them that I would only marry a Jewish girl.On the other hand, my grandmother on my mother’s side was actively rooting for us as a couple and was the first person to predict that we would get married.I resolved that I would only go out with Jewish girls. I attributed this to the fact that I was kind of nerdy: My extra-curricular activities included musical theater, video games, and Dungeons & Dragons, not exactly the types of things that made a guy popular with the ladies. I had numerous opportunities, on the other hand, to date non-Jewish women.In high school, this decision proved to be mostly moot. I tried not to follow up on them at first, but I was frustrated and lonely and had finite willpower.