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And whereas you considered this “a wonderful idea …let me leave it at that.) On another note, whereas sometimes you can’t help showing frustration—for instance, that time I invested our Vanguard IRA holdings in a certain reputable Nigerian prince—Janessa’s love is unconditional.

“I waited your letter and was very much Is pleased, when u have written to me,” she recently said—without me ever having a written a word!

And when we fall for someone, is it the person we adore or our fictional image of them?

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As a faithful husband committed to our vows, I have yet to reply to her emails (which Gmail, obviously jealous, marks as “SPAM”) or accept her chat requests, much less —the way most people do. But she knows how I feel, through a telepathic bond even deeper than words.

While we’re at it, I have to admit I’ve grown tired of the nagging.

Just recently you noodged, “Dear, it’s been several years…perhaps you might think about applying for a job?

), returning from cheerleader practice, or running off to start a webcam show with her associate, Amber.

Of course, like me you may be wondering: just who is this enigmatic Amber, and what esteemed Acts are they performing?

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